On basic needs, comfort, and enjoyment

I have a tendency to “power through” a task or attending to my kids’ needs while putting my own basic needs, comfort, and enjoyment on the back burner. Not in any kind of worrisome unhealthy way, but just putting off something that I need or that would be nice just for me. I’m trying to do less of this!

Enter BCE: basic needs, comfort, and enjoyment. I came up with this little collection and have started checking in with myself during busy times of my day. I’ll ask myself,

“Do I have any basic needs? What would make me more comfortable? And what would contribute to my enjoyment right now?”

Here are some of the things I think about in each category…

Basic needs: Do I need to go to the bathroom? (I drink a lot of water so often the answer is yes!) Do I need a snack? Am I thirsty?

Comfort: Am I too cold or too hot? If so I could add or remove a layer of clothing, or grab a heating pad to put on my lap while I work. Am I comfortable in my clothes? Do I need softer pants, to change my bra, or to change my underwear? (We’re getting quite personal here but especially by the end of the day in our hot climate a fresh pair of undies is a great upgrade to your comfort). Also, do I need to change where I’m sitting to work, or perhaps sit down for a while if I’ve been standing? This could also apply to specific situations such as if I’m playing with Maeve on the ground: would I like a pillow behind my back or to sit on a blanket? There are so many ways to make ourselves more comfortable! Why not do them?

And, finally, enjoyment: What would make this more enjoyable right now? A cup of tea, lighting a candle, a small bowl of a delicious snack, putting some music on, opening a window shade to let natural light in–all of these take little effort but create small joys.

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It takes very little time to check in with myself and to attend to my basic needs, comfort, and enjoyment. But doing so feels like a deep breath and helps me feel more cared for before I get back to taking care of something else or someone else.

 

How are you with checking in with yourself instead of powering through your days? What kinds of basic needs, comfort, and enjoyment do you find yourself needing?

13 responses to “On basic needs, comfort, and enjoyment”

  1. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    So smart! Especially right now when I feel very uncomfortable about THE WAY TH WORLD IS FUNCTIONING. I might as well be well hydrated and cozy.

    Reply
    1. Kelsey Avatar
      Kelsey

      Right?! So so true. By the way – started Beezus and Ramona on audio with Maeve last night while she was in the bath. Available on Hoopla for anyone who uses that platform. Amazing narration, as you mention, by Stockard Channing. Thanks for the rec!

      Reply
  2. Jaida Avatar
    Jaida

    Oh yes, I love this. I have really leaned into physical comforts in the last couple of years, and even more so in the face of so much discomfort in the world right now. A cozy sweatshirt, comfortable pants, my Loop earplugs when I feel overstimulated….all go a long way to helping settle my nerves and allow me to function more comfortably.

    Reply
    1. Kelsey Avatar
      Kelsey

      So, so good and yes.

      Reply
  3. Elisabeth Avatar
    Elisabeth

    Yes! This is one of my favourite things to do. If I feel grumpy or unmotivated, stop and listen to my body. What does it need or want? Most of the time, I’m able to provide it.
    I need alone time. I’ve had a sick kiddo (sometimes two) home for almost a week and I can tell my brain needs time to recalibrate from the overstimulation. I am an introvert who functions well in social situations BUT I only recharge alone and alone time has been limited. Now that I recognize that about myself – and appreciate it’s not a bug, it’s a feature! – I’m giving myself grace to carve out extra alone time, understanding everything will continue to feel “off” for a few days even after the kids have gone back to school because I need to recharge my batteries.
    The other thing I really need to do is pay attention to positive things in my life. My natural bent is definitely pessimism. Between my weekly gratitude practice (Happy Things Friday) and my current February blogging challenge (Finding Joy in Gratitude), I can confidently say being grateful has been life changing for me!

    Reply
    1. Kelsey Avatar
      Kelsey

      Oh I really relate to the introvert deprivation! This always starts to hit me during our two week breaks from school and during the summer for sure (layered with the mild summer seasonal low moods that I get). I think I am also better about recognizing it and trying to preventatively plan for it – like planning to take time for myself but ultimately the only cure is to be back to our routine and to have significant quiet alone time at home. It is hard to recognize something you need and not be able to fulfill that need.

      I love your gratitude practices and I agree – the more things you look for to appreciate, the more you find!

      Reply
  4. Nina Avatar
    Nina

    Oh my gosh, I totally feel this. I often sit in that discomfort when a little bit of change or effort would actually go a long way…both material and immaterial stuff (like going to the bathroom before tending to something for the kids or others)…

    Nina

    Reply
    1. Kelsey Avatar
      Kelsey

      Yes, exactly! I think I might also be in that mindset still from having younger kids when you really did need to put your needs on the backburner now. But now I can definitely walk away to go to the bathroom, get a snack, or put on cozier pants — and we should!

      Reply
  5. Sak Avatar
    Sak

    I’ve been working on changing my mindset about what is possible with my kids around now that they are older. My youngest is 5 and their needs are less urgent now. I can do things that I need when I need to and I also don’t need them out of the house for hours to get small tasks or tidying done.

    Reply
    1. Kelsey Avatar
      Kelsey

      Good job! Yes I feel the same now that Maeve is almost 5.

      Reply
  6. Stephany Avatar
    Stephany

    I really, really love this! Sometimes I have a tendency to just suck it up and deal with being uncomfortable – but what is the point of that? If I can make things feel better by changing the temperature in my home or putting on something super cozy or DRINKING WATER when I am thirsty (I am so bad about this) – why not?! I am going to try to have this mindset going forward!

    Reply
  7. Michael Forster Avatar
    Michael Forster

    “What a thoughtful and heartwarming reflection on the importance of balancing basic needs, comfort, and enjoyment in our lives. It’s a great reminder to appreciate the small moments and find joy in the everyday. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring and grounding perspective.”

    Reply
  8. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    Love these ideas. Ha ha! Using the bathroom is such a simple but easy way to be comfortable.

    We get cold winters where I live in Canada. For several years now, I wear snowpants pretty much anytime I leave my home to go outside from mid-November-March. I hate being cold and it makes such a difference in my comfort, as well as being able to last longer outside with my kids. (Even when it’s running over to the library or to get groceries, I still wear them! And my big waterproof snow boots.)

    For enjoyment, I love having coffee with cream. I often want to add a coffee or hot chocolate to what I’m doing (playing a game with my kids, reading, going for a walk in the snow, going to the beach). It seems my wanting to add enjoyment usually comes with a lot of extra calories, though.

    Have you read “The Little Book of Hygge”? It talks a lot about enjoyment, coziness, togetherness, etc. If you haven’t read it, I think you’d like it! It’s not just for colder climates; it addresses all seasons. (Like your iced drink car picnics in the summer with Maeve.)

    Reply

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