The truth about living in a small(ish) family home

This is my first post as part of the new Small Family Homes Blogger Network, started by Kate Saffle of The Streamlined Life and of the Cohesive Home podcast, which is how I first connected with her. All the writers in the network will share a new post each month on the same topic. Check out the links at the end of my post to see what other writers had to say on the topic of “the truth about living in a small family home.”

 

Our house isn’t small enough to be a hip tiny home. Not even close actually. You can only have a cozy 400 square feet to proclaim your home truly a tiny one. Technically we don’t even live in a small home (1,000 square feet or less). Many, or perhaps all, of the other writers in this new network live in smaller homes than we do. Which might make you wonder why I would be part of a small home network.

When I quickly imagine an inventory of our friends’ houses, ours falls towards the smaller end of the spectrum. It definitely seems small when I look at average home sizes from the most recent U.S. census. In 2010, it was 2,392 square feet. This is compared to an average home size of just 1,565 square feet in 1983, the year I was born. 

So our house is both small and big. We just call it home.

The truth about living in a small(ish) family home | RISING*SHINING

When I read about the network Kate was starting I wanted to be part of it because our 1,776 square foot home will still seem small to many, especially for a family of four. So I hope I can offer the perspective of living in a small(ish) family home.

In the eight years since we bought our house it’s become the backdrop for so much living. The significant moments and celebrations and all the everyday living that matters the most. In late March of 2010 we drove away from our home to Austin, TX and returned a married couple. In April 2013 we brought home our first baby boy and in December of 2014 our second. In 2016, we bestowed the name HiFi House on our little desert abode. 

Our house keeps us comfortable whether it’s hot, cold or rainy. Every Christmas we welcome a live evergreen tree inside and decorated it with lights and ornaments. Our house gives us a place to be together as a family and to be completely ourselves – whether that’s having a dance party to Katy Perry or letting the boys run around naked. Sometimes both. We have a backyard where the boys help me fill bird feeders, where I find my moment of zen watering the plants, and where we can eat outside in nice weather.

The truth about living in a small(ish) family home | RISING*SHINING

The only time I think of the smaller size of our house is when we have big family or friend gatherings. To host Thanksgiving we borrow a folding table to set up next to our dining room table. For other gatherings people spread out between the kitchen island and the dining room. It has caused me some stress before but I’ve learned that people don’t mind making do. These are people who care about us and just want to be together, after all.

The size and layout of our house means that our family is close to each other even if we’re in separate rooms. We count this as a positive. I love not needing to use a monitor to be able to hear my boys during the night and being able to get to them quickly. The modest size of our home has also motivated us to minimize our belongings and get the full use out of each room. It actually feels like a fun challenge to see how efficiently and creatively we can use the space we have. Over the next year we’re looking forward to putting the boys in one bedroom and creating a family den with a movie projector for family movie nights.

The truth about living in a small(ish) family home | RISING*SHINING

Perhaps my favorite blog post I’ve ever written is the one outlining our ideal life. It’s a list I came up with after reflecting with Chris on the question, “What would our ideal life look like?” Our ideal life includes being debt-free, spending lots of time together as a family, and traveling to new places. We thought about our ideal life home environment and came up with a light-filled and uncluttered home with views of nature and a kitchen we love to cook in.

At the time I wrote that blog post I thought the list might guide us in moving to a new home in our 5- or 10-year future. I loved the idea of living in a house with more character and nicer finishes (like counters, bathrooms, floors, and landscaping).

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Instead what’s happened is that I’ve started to see how the HiFi House actually checks all the boxes of being our ideal home. It doesn’t have high-end upgrades but that wasn’t on our list. It’s light-filled and uncluttered with a kitchen where we love to cook daily. Out our back windows we see trees and flowers, lucky to have backyard neighbors with lots of trees that give us a feeling of semi-privacy despite the small size of our yard. There are also parks we can walk to, several neighbors we know, and an elementary school right in the neighborhood where the boys will go until 6th grade.

But increasingly there’s another aspect of our small(ish) home that makes it our ideal home: the affordability. We bought our house for $200,000 in 2009 and put $20,000 down. In 2015 we refinanced our mortgage for the second time and secured an interest rate of 2.875% on a 15-year mortgage. Our monthly payment is $1,280 and we’ll pay off our house before our oldest son starts college. That feels incredible and makes me love our small home even more.

Having a smaller home means a smaller mortgage which allows us to save aggressively, bolsters our financial security, and lays the foundation for future opportunities including early retirement and family travel – and who knows what else!

The truth about living in a small(ish) family home | RISING*SHINING

And so when I think about our home and how its size compares to friend’s homes and the average American home I get a particular feeling. It’s not a feeling of envy. Or a desire for a bigger or nicer house. It’s a feeling of affection for our cozy home. Because our small(ish) house is part of why we are able to live such a full life. 

 

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This post was written for inclusion in the June collection of the Small Family Homes Blog Community. Read below for more writings on the truth about living small from our community of writers. Check back next month for a new topic and posts in the series and follow our community board on Pinterest for the latest small homes and family minimalism pins!

Megan Barnum– “The Truth About Living SMALL” : What does living in a small space look like for a family of 4? Probably not a whole lot different from you.

Little Bungalow– “Less Space, More Happiness” : In a small home, less space doesn’t equal more happiness. Except, of course, when it does.

600 Square Feet and a Baby– “The Truth About Living in a Small Family Home” : Living small as a family of four is sometimes uncomfortable, a bit awkward and never boring. Sharing the awkward and imperfect of living small with 4 humans that you always wanted to know (or maybe you didn’t.)

Shelley Vanderbyl– “Five Things You Don’t Need in a Small Home” : Gatekeeping is about recognizing what things you don’t need or want, and trying to keep those objects from coming into your home.

The Streamlined Life– “The Truth About Living Small: Less Possessions, Greater Value“: Just because you’re a minimalist family doesn’t mean you aren’t sentimental.

The Justice Pirate– “What Small Home Living is Like” : No matter if I lived in a cardboard box or a small home, I just like being with my family, who are my home.

 
Our Nest in the City– “The Truth About Living in a Small Family Home” : My post gives three challenges to living in a small home with our family of five, and counters them with three ways we “cope” and thrive despite it all 🙂

Fourth and West– “You Can’t Have it All” : Small space living requires compromise and sacrifice.
Family At Sea– “The Meaning of Space: Thoughts from a Former Tiny Home Mom” : After moving onto a boat, I thought the hard work of decluttering and downsizing was done, but I didn’t realize that living in a tiny space was the beginning of the real work of the soul.

Real Food Simple Life– “The Realities of Living in a Small Home with a Big Family” : A look into the benefits and challenges that a family of 6 (going on 7) experiences living together in an 800 square foot home in Scotland.

Tiny Ass Camper– “I Didn’t Know Tiny Living Was For Me” : My thoughts on the give and take of living tiny.

Family Pedals– “Location Trumps Size” : The truth is, it has been our home’s location–not size–that has determined our happiness in a given space.

 
Birch and Pine– “It’s Not Always Easy” : Living tiny often means defending your own life and choices: daily.
 
 
 

29 responses to “The truth about living in a small(ish) family home”

  1. Kate Avatar

    Your home is beautiful, intentional, and the perfect fit for your family. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kelsey!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Thanks, Kate!

  2. Misti Avatar

    This is so cool! Like you, I grew up in a small house for today’s standards. My parents still live in that house (well, I lived in two other houses before I turned five but they were small, too) and it is the place to be when everyone is in town. I would be very sad for them to sell it! Small = less cleaning!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Oh this is the same for me! My parents raised us in a small house by comparison toy friends. But now I am so glad they did! Part of it is also the location – a beautiful 3 acres just outside Austin, which now is coveted real estate!

  3. Victoria the Justice Pirate Avatar

    I am an ’83 baby too! I thought the home I grew up in was small until I moved into my first two homes, but now I am glad that I live in small houses. Your house is over 1000 sq. feet larger than mine, but if you are living with intentionality and doing your best with what you have, that is cool. With what you said about the mortgage. . my parents moved into their house in 1974 and just paid it off last year….yeahhhh. Sad. You will definitely have yours paid off fast enough.

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Woo hoo ’83! I recently heard our age group referred to as “the Oregon Trail Generation” since technically we are millennials but differ from them in a lot of ways. anyway, I kind of like it 😉 Living with intention has probably been one of the biggest changes for us since having kids. I don’t think we were unintentional before but it has made us so dialed in to every aspect of our life, including our stuff and home environment. Great to connect with you!

  4. Brittany @ Real Food Simple Life Avatar

    Affordability is such a great blessing of living smaller. If we ever move to the states, we will probably go for a similar size house for our family of 7. Not too big and not too small!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      It is crazy how our culture (at least in the US) is so geared toward making you think you NEED to spend more and have more – it’s scary! Stepping out of that mainstream and seeing that you can get by with less and live within your means is incredibly liberating. Great to connect with you!

  5. Anne Avatar

    Thanks for sharing this, Kelsey! This is something that has been top of mind for me, as we’re in the process of selling our house and buying a new one. We looked and looked and ended up finding the perfect spot that’s far below what we were preapproved for and only about 200 square feet bigger than our current place. We don’t need much more, only a little bit more space and a second bathroom (dream big!). I think our generation is way more focused on diversifying our assets and prioritizing other parts of life, rather than spending a ton of money on a pricey, suburban home.

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      That sounds like an exciting change! Second bathroom!! And so awesome that it is very comfortable to afford, both the house and mortgage payment will serve you well! I think there are many more people, since the recession, re-evaluating home size, stuff and what it means to be happy.

  6. Kristen Avatar

    This is what I needed to read today. Thank you! We are preparing for a (half) cross-country move into a small(wish) house and while we made the decision with purpose and with the goal of having more financial flexibility, I’ve still been going back and forth on the decision. Our families think we’re crazy for downsizing from a home they already view as “small” and I have been letting that affect me. Reading this has encouraged me to keep in the forefront our goals for our family and to not let comparison take away our joy and goals for our ideal life. I’m also excited to read more from the Small Family Homes Blog Community!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      It is so hard when people do not share or cannot fully understand your values and goals – especially people you really care about and whom you might normally turn to for advice! But it sounds like you know what is best for your family so keep connected to people and resources that will support that! After reading all the other Small Family Home posts I felt even more committed to our house and living simply so I think it will be a great resource for you as well! I bet once your family sees how you are happy and doing well in your new place they will be more supportive. We definitely had friends and family skeptical of our one car family experiment…and here we are 3 years later! Someone even told us, “I wouldn’t buy a Prius.” Now they see what a reliable car it has been and all the $$$ we’ve saved on gas.

  7. Catherine Short Avatar

    Layout is so much more important than size. Our house is 1400 or slightly under but the main reason it won’t work long term is there is no dining space. We have a huge island, but eventually we’ll want family meals at a table. 🙂

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Yes!! Layout is so important! Perhaps you’ve already considered it, but would ditching the island be a possibility? I love thinking outside the box in how we can make our home work for us. I’ve even thought about turning our master bedroom into another common living area! No plans to do so right now but it’s a fun thought experiment to realized “hidden” potential in your house.

  8. Megan Avatar

    You have a beautiful home! Congrats on living the live you intentionally want to live. Such a great example for your kids! Xo @minimalistmeg

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Thanks so much, Megan!

  9. Jenn Avatar

    I love that you are participating in this, small is all about perspective. And your ability to recognize what you already have is what makes you happy and the financial freedom that comes with that is such a gift!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Thanks so much, Jenn! What a sweet comment. 🙂

  10. Lauren @ Lauren, Etc. Avatar

    I am so excited about this blogger network idea! I love you, I love Kate, I love this whole community, and I’m looking forward to learning about the other women involved who are living with intentionality. Your family’s lifestyle is the most relatable for me, and I think that’s because of the size of your home. I was talking with my husband the other night about how living in our 1850 sq ft home and having no plans to downsize or do lots of traveling, makes me feel a bit disconnected from others I know in the intentional living community. So I’m really looking forward to seeing more of your perspective living in a small-ish home.

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Oh, I hear you! And I’m so glad that you connected with this. I have felt similarly. We aren’t in the really small house camp. But then also not in the DIY house-beautification camp either. I do love our house and am not trying to say it doesn’t look nice but we aren’t investing a lot in styling and improvements, and often I really wish that we could! The internet can make you think that you have to be in a ” house camp.” I know from your blog and IG feed that you are really intentional and those are definitely values that translate to lots of different lifestyles. The more I focus on what I love about our house that works for us the more I love it!

    2. Lauren @ Lauren, Etc. Avatar

      Yes, it is all about being grateful for what your home provides and not focusing on what you might dislike. We slightly fall into the DIY house beautification camp as we are very (very) slowly making small changes. But by no means on the “Fixer Upper” level. But I’m sure you’ve learned it’s so much better to make slow changes and maybe not take out a second mortgage for a kitchen & bath renovation 😉

  11. nora Avatar

    I appreciate your perspective so much. I tend to get fundamentalist and even preachy about things like living simply and saving resources. However, I then sometimes find I’m unable to live up to my own ideals. I have enjoyed your blog over the years because you live with such grace — balancing a range of different priorities to live your ideal/ real life. Thank you for taking the time to write down your thoughts (I’m not much of a podcast listener, otherwise I’d check out your work on that front for sure). And this post was timely: we just got a bid accepted for our first small(ish) house, which we decided to buy because we can put 40% down and have a 15 year mortgage. As we make a list of improvements to make, I want to keep in mind our ideal life, not some picture of someone else’s perfect, luxury house. I want to remember that a kitchen should be a comfortable place to cook each day, but doesn’t need to have luxury finishes to be that.

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Thank you so much, Nora, this comment means so much to me! Congratulations on your house, what an amazing position you put yourself in to be able to put down 40%! Focusing on just your house and how you want to live, without Pinterest/internet breathing down your neck ;), is critical for creating YOUR ideal home. It is something that must be actively practiced but I know you already have such an intentional mindset. Congrats again, and enjoy making your house home!

  12. daphne Avatar

    Wow! Your home looks like a huge house to me. It’s all in the perspective. We live in 550 sq feet with our 5 yr old, no outdoor space or balcony. We love and hate it, but your place is definitely what we would consider a big house! (;

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Hi Daphne! I definitely recognize that many people will think my home is huge! But yes, I agree with you, it’s all about perspective. I definitely know that others would think our home was not big enough! So I hope I can speak to that situation. The not truly small house but also not as big as most peoples (given the size of the average American home). Our house doesn’t feel small to me but I suppose we try to have a “small house mindset” in some ways, such as not accumulating too much and having rooms being fully functional or multipurpose.

  13. Feisty Harriet Avatar

    I truly love and admire your home aesthetic and goals; my ideal home always has a big library full of books and room for a grand piano (and, also, said piano). Sigh. xox

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      I love it – and that fits you so perfectly!

  14. A Life Shift Avatar

    In my “old life” living in Vancouver with my fiance in a 900 sq ft apartment, we were certain we would ‘need’ to move before starting a family. Instead we moved to Hong Kong, into a 450 sq ft flat. Then I got pregnant. Now we’ve upgraded to 590 sq ft to accommodate our new baby. Sometimes I think about my friends in Canada with houses and garages and yards and am maybe a bit jealous. But then I think about the cleaning, inevitable accumulation, yard work, etc and get back to reality. One day I do hope to have a house, but a small(ish) one seems more and more appealing.

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Just having a chance at that perspective is so empowering! I’m sure many people – and I am among them – have gone from suburban home to suburban home without seeing what living in significantly less space would be like. It is all trade offs for sure!

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