For the love of finishing things

Last year I read Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin and I still think of it often.  Erica and I even discussed it in a Girl Next Door Book Club! 

In the book, Rubin outlines four habit tendencies – Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, Obliger – which describe how a person responds to internal and external expectations. (You can take the quiz here to find out your tendency.) I’m an upholder and respond equally to internal and external expectations. In other words, I love goals and enjoy meeting them. Surprise!! I had so many lightbulb moments while reading about my own personality and having it articulated in new ways. Plus, what is more fascinating than learning about yourself?

After describing the four tendencies Rubin covers lots of other traits we should consider when trying to make or break a habit. Are you an early bird or a night owl? Are you a moderator (a little at a time) or an abstainer (all or nothing)? Are you an opener or a finisher?

Lately I’ve been thinking about this last one: opener or finisher. When Erica and I chatted about the book on The Girl Next Door Book Club I thought I was an opener. I have so many things going on! So I must love to start things. 

But one morning as I was grabbing my lunch and coffee, about to head out the door, a little collection on the counter caught my eye. It was a squeezed and nearly empty bottle of Aquaphor, a Burt’s Bees so near the end that the internal tube of chapstick will pop out and an upturned bottle of Trader Joe’s white pine lotion (an attempt to use every last bit). Later at work I found that I had another bottle of upturned Trader Joe’s lotion.

Then I thought of the way I have a hard time buying new deodorant until I have nearly none left (still obsessed with this by the way). And also how I’m still wearing casual shoes that I love even though they have a hole in the toe and running shoes I’ve been wearing for nearly 4 years (it’s a miracle I don’t have chronic shin splints). I love to wear things until they wear out and since these are still functioning it’s hard for me to buy new.

It’s not just material things. At work I find so much more energy and satisfaction in finishing a project than starting a new one.  

And so it dawned on me that maybe, in fact, I am a finisher. I love to follow-through and complete something that I said I would do. I am an upholder, after all. Being a finisher definitely supports my somewhat frugal sensibilities and definitely my minimalist sensibilities. I do not have interest in trying lots of different shampoos, eye shadows, shoes or accessories for example. Maybe my finisher nature is why! I used to follow a blogger who shared a favorite beauty product round up each month. I realized that it actually really stressed me out to think of having 7 – 10 NEW products every month. There’s no way I would ever use all of that! Or want to store it all.

But my finisher nature doesn’t apply to all things. I abandon books if I don’t at least enjoy them somewhat.  I also don’t mind getting rid of things if I’m not using them at all as opposed to feeling that I must “use it up.”  I’ve never been a pack rat but especially after reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up I don’t like to hold on to something because maybe I’ll use it. Or maybe it’s that I can’t stand not making progress on finishing something so I’d rather just get rid of it.

I was chatting with Chris about this and he also thinks he’s a finisher. In fact he said, “Yeah, didn’t you notice how I put some water in the body wash to make it last longer?” He wants to use every last drop of that body wash. I actually did draw the line at overly-diluted body wash and cracked open the new bottle. 

I’ve been trying to think of how this insight about being a finisher should apply to my life. Part of the power of getting insight into my own personality is recognizing the person I am and not fighting against it. Maybe it will even bolster my commitment to having less and buying fewer things. By having fewer things I can enjoy finishing them or using them up. For the most part I can’t think of habits or practices that I need to change but it’s interesting to see some of my habits in light of finisher tendencies. 

What about you – do you think you’re an opener or a finisher, and how does that affect you? 

 

10 responses to “For the love of finishing things”

  1. MIsti Avatar

    I’m definitely a finisher, I think! I never got the people who had a bazillion products to review each month either.

    Though, I should probably take finishing to a new level—I once read Alicia Silverstone say she cuts open her bottles of product when it is just almost done and scrapes off stuff from the sides of the tube!!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Haha, oh my gosh! I could see doing that…as long as it didn’t end up too messy.

  2. Liz Avatar

    Great post! Something for me to think about- I think I love starting new things and I really love achieving goals..Maybe I am an inbetweener? I water down the hand soap and my husband cuts down the moisturizer and toothpaste to scoop out the last bit…but I love cracking into a new, fresh (insert name here..) and starting a new notebook- pure bliss!!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Ooo I hear you…I do love a fresh start to things as well.

  3. Catherine Short Avatar

    I’m going to take that quiz now. I’m not sure if i’ll end up being a finisher or opener but I use every last ounce of product even if I don’t really like something! I also feel that way about leftovers. I’ll make the weirdest combination. I know I got that from my mom who grew up on a farm where they used everything!

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      I’m pretty good with leftovers although I can’t do combinations that are too weird. I applaud your dedication!

  4. Sarah Avatar

    I’m totally an opener. I’m always gung-ho at the beginning of something, but often find my enthusiasm starts to wane pretty quickly. I’m awesome at planning, and only so-so at executing. I’m also an upholder, and I think that tendency helps me do a decent job of finishing things even when I’m no longer excited about it. But in my anecdotal experience, I think I’m more wiling to let things drop than a lot of other upholders I see.

    (For what it’s worth, I describe my tendency as “upholder with a dash of rebel” because sometimes I’ll randomly throw away a goal I previously cared a lot about. But maybe that’s just being an opener vs. finisher!)

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Oh interesting! I think there is definitely a part to play of your “secondary” tendency. I don’t think she talks about this but I think I see it in most people who I talk to about this. I think I’m upholder with a dash of questioner.

  5. Feisty Harriet Avatar

    I think I go through cycles. START ALL THE THINGS, and then I putter around on them, and finally have to make an effort to FINISH EVERYTHING so I don’t go crazy. I’d probably be a lot more balanced if I could do both of them simultaneously and within a suitable window of time. Ahem.

    xox

    1. Kelsey Avatar

      Haha, I like that you put so much energy into whatever phase of life you are in. I guess you just have to embrace your nature!

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